Almost a year on and I am extremely proud to say that not only have I survived, but that Jake is a happy and healthy baby and Darren and I are still happily married!
Obviously I can't say it was all smooth sailing, and there were days (and weeks) that I would have quite happily dropped him back to the hospital so I could have some sanity! But now he is a joy (how cliched) to have around and we have so much fun. Sleeping is no longer an issue daytime or night time, and his reflux is settling too... maybe we can try weaning the meds again... not sure if I am brave enough yet....
I sit here and chuckle quietly to myself as thoughts of another baby and all of the good bits flicker through my mind... and reality quickly follows...
... how "wonderful" the pregnancy was (I then remind myself of the nausea, the sore bones, the itchy skin, the HUGE bum, the inability to roll over in bed with doing a 20 point turn and using a crane - need I go on),
... how beautiful I felt (except when none of my clothes fit and I look at pics of myself and my face looks like a moon),
... the incredible moment of when you first hold that little person (and then a few hours later they start to cry and you can't settle them - a sound that is your constant soudtrack for 6 months),
.... the wonder of the first time they attach to your breast (the sore, cracked nipples, the overwhelming urge to change your surname to milk truck, the leaking, the leaking and the leaking...)
Maybe, I think, it's time for another little bundle of "joy". But no I remind myself not yet please, you still haven't finished feeding, you still have no cycle and you are currently enjoying wearing clothes you haven't worn in a couple of years! But one day soon, maybe Easter will be our TTC (trying to conceive) goal.
And now I have the excitement of planning a first birthday party! Of course Jake's birthday has very little to do with it except that it is an opportunity for us to celebrate a survival milestone! And my god how the guest list expands! We currently are sitting at around 40 and that doesn't include kids and it is only close friends and some of our scattered families.
Stay tuned for updates!